Beginning this journey

This is my blog about my new life. Yesterday, I found out that I have diabetes type 2. It’s not surprising really because I have been on this road for a long time headed that way, it’s just now diagnosed and being treated. I am writing this blog because I don’t feel quite ready to tell others yet and I really need a place to talk about what I am learning and what I am feeling.

So, yesterday morning I went to see the nurse practitioner at my doctor’s office to get my blood work results. Apparently she had decided to check my A1C level when she sent it in. What she found was that my levels were running high consistently. And my fasting blood sugar was high as well. So, it’s written in stone now, I am a diabetic.

I have a family history of diabetes coming from both of my parents’ families. My sister is also a type 1 diabetic and has been dealing with that for about 4 years now. She had gestational diabetes for her first two pregnancies and was diagnosed after the twins were a year old. Also my aunt on my father’s side is type 2 and my great uncle on mom’s side is type 2. So, the hereditary factors were definitely there. I am also overweight and that is a huge factor.

So, after finding out I had diabetes, I cried. Then, I listened to the nurse practitioner who gave me lots of useful stuff. I got my first meter and some test strips and she also gave me a new medication to start, JanuMet. Also, my blood pressure is a bit high so I started some medicine for that as well. Both are medicines that I can eventually come off of if I get this under control with diet and exercise. That is my goal.

I admit that I have not been very good at all in the exercise catergory for a while now. But yesterday I called a gym that seems like it may be something I could do. It’s called Butterfly Life. From my phone conversation, I got the impression that these are real women who understand fitness and weight loss and nutrition. They aren’t stick thin people who judge you for being overweight. In fact the woman mentioned that one of the teachers there has lost over 100 pounds. So it sounds to me like these women are real and willing to help others. I made an appointment to try it out for a couple of days starting next Monday. The last gym I went to was unfriendly and they made me feel worse for trying to get in better shape like I was ruining the image of their buff gym or something. Also they promised me a session with a trainer to show me the machines and I was never able to get that. So, this sounds different and I am going to try it.

So, my first day in diabetes was filled with shock for the most part and then determination. I have not really shared it with a lot of people. I talked to my husband, Mom and sister about it. I ordered several books from Amazon. I read over all the information the nurse practitioner gave me. I did lots of blood sugar testing yesterday also so I could get used to it. I have another appointment on Thursday with the nurse practitioner to go over more details about diabetes and life with it and nutrition. I think I may sign up for a class with a nutritionist so I can get more information too. I feel that the more informed I am the better chance I have to beat it and get off medicine.

That was my approach with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in 2004 as a type 2 bipolar. That one was a really hard diagnosis to swallow and not something I could have a positive attitude about. I went on medication which got me back in control.  But I managed to learn to deal better with my stress and was able to get off of the medication in one of the most stressful situations in my life, my father’s illness and death. It was not intentional but in the midst of Dad’s problems I kept forgetting to take my medicine and then I was feeling okay so I didn’t start it back up. The doctor said he would have leveled me off, but was highly impressed with my ability to handle it without the meds.

Back to diabetes, so I feel like the better educated I am the better chance I have to getting myself to a point where I can get off the meds. That’s my goal. I want to be healthier and off the drugs. Day one was really hard. My levels were elevated the whole day and I had hoped that this morning I would see a normal blood sugar when I got up, but it was elevated too. So, my goal today is this…eat healthier which means avoiding as many carbs as I can and getting more exercise in.

It really helped me last night to be able to talk to my sister about it. I really felt like it was my fault that I had diabetes type 2. I am embarrassed to tell others because I feel like they’ll take one look at me and go “Yep, you’re overweight, it’s expected.” But the truth is that you don’t get type 2 because you’re overweight or you eat too much sugar. They may contribute to it, but they are not the cause and heredity plays a key role as well. She says one of the worst things is when you are eating something like a small piece of cake or cookie having people who know question whether you should have it. I remember when people found out I had bipolar they looked at me trying to determine if I was going to explode or something. So, I am definitely feeling like informing very few people at this point. I need to process it and deal with it before I share it or even if I share it. I will probably talk to a couple of my closest friends about it for some extra support (and because they are not judgmental). But I am thinking limited amounts of people for now.

Yesterday, I was in a bit of information overload. My body was totally craving sugar because it’s used to having more than I gave it and that made me feel a bit off. Today, I am going to try harder to get things in control.

My desire is to approach this positively. It’s not the end of the world. It’s treatable with proper diet, exercise and medication. I am also determined to do what I need to do so that I can just treat it with diet and exercise. My sister has given me 4 wonderful reasons to do it and reminded me that if I get it under control I might be able to conceive my own wonderful reason as well. It’s likely that the reason I have not been able to conceive is my blood sugar issue, so once that is in control I will have a better chance to get there too. So, there are lots of reasons to do this and there is no reason to do it with a negative attitude. Bottom line, I am coming out of my corner swinging! So, take that Diabetes…you won’t control my life, I will control you!